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Choosing and Consecrating Magical Tools

May 20, 2013 in Sage & Scourge

The tools that we work with in ritual are important elements of our workings. They are objects that focus us in directing our will and our energy to complete whatever work it is that we are doing. These sorts of tools become more effective the longer we have been using them, and the longer we have been working to invest our energy in that particular tool.

These tools know us and vibrate in harmony with our use of them when they have a relationship with us. While our tools are not sentient, I wouldn’t call them passive either. These are tools that channel magic, and the longer we use them, the more magic we imbue in them.

Some of us are lucky and these sorts of tools are handed down to us with a great deal of magical energy already present. My best friend’s Athame is the straight razor her grandmother used in her sewing projects. This is an Athame with a great deal of family history and ties. These sorts of tools recquire little more than a sort of getting to know you period where you and the tool aclimate to each other and establish a working relationship based on the ties already present.

Most us, unfortunately, aren’t that lucky. While there are many more second and even third generation Craft practitioners these days than there were even ten years ago, most of us are starting out on our own and have to pick up our tools the old fashioned way. And some of us don’t want that combined history and simply want to start fresh with something that is completely and only ours.

I’ve recently acquired two new tools that have a large significance in my rituals: an Athame and a wand. The athame was a tool I helped to choose, and was presented to me at my initiation; the wand was a gift from my partner.

So how do you start creating this sort of working relationship?

Never buy a tool that doesn’t call to you. All of my Craft tools, in whatever form, have pulled me to them specifically. There has been an immediate zing of energy exchanged that was impossible to ignore. In the case of the wand, it called my partner to it. It will be a tool that our coven uses together.

I look for tools that are traditional; not everyone does, but I prefer bone and wood that have been handcrafted over cheap, machine made items. Tools like this handle energy much more naturally.

It’s not always possible to know the maker of your Craft tools, not all of us are lucky enough to live near someone who makes these sorts of items, but I would also recommend not buying these types of tools online. You need to be able to handle a tool and speak to the person who was responsible for its creation. If you can make them yourself, even better. This is true of most magical items. There are very few online vendors that I trust, the ones that I do have been recommended to me by other reliable practitioners of my acquaintance and when I have bought items from them, they have been exactly as advertised.

Most Craft store owners should be able to tell you the provenance of an item and the exact materials used to make that item. They also usually know whether the maker has a good reputation or not.

You don’t have to find a tool immediately. Take your time, go to festivals, go to fairs, talk to people and see where they have found their tools. It may take a few months, don’t be discouraged. Remember, these are items that we will use for years to come. Rushing something like this ensures that you will not find the correct tool.

Once you’ve found the perfect item, don’t haggle for it. Pay exactly what the seller is asking if it’s a fair price. When you haggle a price down, it diminishes the power of the tool and takes away from the effort the creator took in making it. If you can barter for the tool and give something in trade, this is perfectly acceptable. You’re still paying a fair price, you’re offering something of equal value, even if that is simply the gift of your own energy.

Once you’ve acquired your tool, take the time to consecrate it and then invest your energy into it everyday. When I’m at home, I carry my Athame around with me, even when I’m not in ritual. I push my energy through it constantly. If I’m not carrying it or I’ve had a busy day, I take a second to pick it up and just think at it for a minute or two. I also won’t let other people touch my tools until I’ve firmly established my own bond with that tool. I’ve only had my Athame for four months now. It will not be touched by anyone other than my partner for a long time yet and the only reason that he is allowed to touch it is because he and I are magical partners as well as significant others and when I do most magical workings, he plays a significant role. He is not a casual lover and I would not recommend sharing your tools with anyone who is.

To consecrate a tool:

Set an altar with representations of the four elements. It is traditional to set Air in the East (usually incense), Fire in the South (candle), Water in the West (bowl of water) and Earth in the North (bowl of salt), but this is up to you and how you usually work.

Choose your representations with what feels right to you. I start in the East; many like to start in the North, again, this is up to you and if an element calls you specifically, start with it.

Take your tool and kiss it, focus your energy on it and take a few minutes to think about what you’ll be using this tool to do.

Wave the tool through the first element and say: I ask ____ to bless and consecrate this tool in doing (state whatever you will be doing with the tool). I ask that ____ bless this tool with (whatever nature the element represents). Bless and consecrate this tool in my service to the Craft. (You can also name any patron deities you’re using). So mote it be!

For example, I started my consecration of my wand with the East and Air. I waved my wand through my burning incense and said: I ask Air to bless and consecrate this tool in it’s use for casting enchantment for me and for my coven. I ask air to bless this wand with its intellect and its quickness. Please bless and consecrate this tool in my service to the (name of my patrons). So mote it be!

Move to the next element and repeat. Do this for all four of the elements. After you have done this, either offer the tool your own blood (which I did in the case of my Athame so that it never works against me) or offer it your energy (which I did with my wand) by placing it against your heart and feeling the energy move between you and the tool.

At the end of the ceremony, place the tool on your altar, continue with whatever work you normally do, and let it acclimate itself to your altar and energy. Leave it for a night and then start carrying it around with you and using it as you would with any tool you already work with.

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The Lady’s Blessings

May 14, 2013 in Guests, Hearth and Home, Uncategorized

On Mother’s Day I was thinking about the women who have influenced my life over the years, of course my own Mom, and also other Mothers, Aunties, Granma’s, friends and mentors along my journey. There are a few who helped bring huge changes to my life, and I would like to share a few stories in honour of the Divine Feminine that touches every person.

My Mom was gracious and married late in life, my parents adopted a toddler and decided to take on another baby boy and went to a different orphanage in Scotland. I was 6 weeks old and had arrived the day before their visit, I’d been 4lbs 2oz at birth and was up to 7lbs by then, though I must have been tiny because my Mom to be thought I was a doll at first. She was horrified that such a “wee babe” was in the children’s home, and felt compelled to see me properly, that was the beginning of our relationship in this life. My parents immigrated to Canada when I was 4, my Dad got work but Mom didn’t even though she had a doctorate degree. She ended up assisting my father who was also a professor, transforming his research notes into papers for scientific journals, meticulously drawing all the strange microscopic creatures, I marvelled at her skill. Mom had been one of the first female Professors at Berkley University in the 1940’s, then returned to Scotland to be with her family and began doing research on animal pathogens at Edinburgh University before she married. My Mother had been financially independent before we immigrated, she never made a cent from the work she did to support my father, and it was something that wasn’t talked about.

I was around 7 when we were in a car accident that left her permanently injured, somehow I fell  into the floor space behind the front seats and the car crumpled around me, Mom wasn’t so lucky. Her life became filled with pain, Dr’s appointments, procedures, physio, endless meds etc. she changed from a social person to a shut in. I took on the house chores and began to resent that I was expected to, Mom and I always seemed to be bickering and arguing, there was more disapproval than support, we didn’t do activities together anymore, and I missed the Mother I had before the accident. As the years passed our conflicts grew more serious, by the time I was 12 the whole family unit was in crisis and falling apart. I left home at the first opportunity that presented itself and dissolved all ties; it took me until my mid 20’s to connect again.

My Mom and I sat down and had a very honest, difficult and painful conversation, we both cried and apologized for our hurtful words and behaviour towards each other in the past. I understood that she had also been hurting, scared and frustrated, and we were able to mend our relationship. My Mom passed when I was 27; we had a lengthy phone call the day before, sharing our life experiences, laughing and appreciating our connection. I love you.

When I was a girl women from our church would show up and whisk me away for an afternoon or weekend, they brought meals and baking for my family. I learned to knit bandages to hymns, a kind of magic in itself, we made old cards into baskets, I discovered the mystery of suspending fruit in gelatine, that washing machines were useful for cleaning baby dills before pickling and how baking soda and lemon juice cleaned just about everything. Daisy, Edna, Beda, Cathy, Granma Taylor thank you!

Kate and I sat outside the office of the women’s transition house one stormy night. Her first words were “Do I look as bad as you?” I replied “I hope it looks better that it feels!” we grinned and became allies. Our friendship grew, we talked about our dreams, how next time we would break the cycle, we knew we didn’t deserve abuse. That was so long ago, we have both learned the difference between love and cruelty, and discovered self love in the reflection of each other. Kate you are precious!

Sheila and I met at a women activists group, and we were tired of marching and holding signs in the sun, wind and rain! We mimicked the parody of politics and transformed it into street theatre; we were fabulous together and even got on the news. Your hug is as big as the Universe my beloved Auntie, Wise One, Mother all wrapped in one. When I am an old woman may I be as spry and have a sense of humor like you, you are the beautiful sound of laughter.

My birth mother Valerie, there was no mistaking I am your child; I saw my face reflected in yours for the first time and knew my beginnings. We walked together for a time, you told me of my ancestors, how they once served the Lady, the gifts of our blood. Your love touched me, thank you for carrying me into this life.

Today I am surrounded with beautiful, strong, creative women, I love my HPS and her family as if they were blood kin, and we are a family of choice. I have bonded with my inner circle and we are only one tree in a grove of many others, and we are all connected. The Goddess touches us through our mothers, grandmas, sisters, aunties, female friends and she is also found within every man and boy, her reflection is found within you and in eyes of others. Did you realize the Lady blesses the world through you? Just something to think about

Abundant Blessings

Dawne

 

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Beltane May Bushes and May Wine

May 6, 2013 in Sage & Scourge

Last night, I had the honor of being crowned May Queen. As the personification of the Summer Lady, I led everyone in a merry chase through the woods. I was eventually “caught” by the gentleman who was crowned the May King. This wild hunt is a Beltane tradition. Beltane or Whitsun has many traditions associated with it, but it is a time for frolicking in the woods and merry making.

In ancient Rome, the goddess Flora was celebrated by a week’s worth of games. These games represented the renewal of life and the growing crops. It was a time of drinking and celebration. Flora was married to one of the wind gods and together they represented Spring.

This was also the time of the year when the goddess Persephone is seen dancing once more at her mother’s side after her sojourn in the Underworld.

In Britain, young people danced around the Maypole after a night in the woods where all social conventions were ignored. Bonfires were lit across the hills to help usher in the summer and banish the cold winter nights. “Jumping the fire” was a traditional pastime for young lovers. Morris dancing is also a traditional way to usher in May.

In most traditions, this is a time that represents the union of the God and Goddess and the celebration of life.

Traditionally, Beltane was not celebrated until the white flowered tree blossomed. In England, this is usually Rowan or Hawthorn. In the U.S., this is usually the Dogwood.

Rowan Blossom

Rowan Blossom

Hawthorn is a tree that has many folkloric stories and uses attached. This is why, one way to celebrate May is to decorate a May Bush. The Hawthorn is a thorny tree with white flowers and small red berries. To create your May Bush, gather the fallen branches of a Hawthorn tree together and bind them so that they stand up. Decorate the tree with bright flowers, painted shells and colored garlands. Do this with your family or your community. May bushes recall the power of the sun for your homes and the new crops.

It is traditional to set the May Bush outside of your home or in a window. It was also traditional to try and steal your neighbor’s May Bush! (This tradition was outlawed in Victorian England for exactly this reason). At the end of May, it was customary to dance around the May Bush in the same way that you danced around the Maypole and then burn the May Bush in the bonfire. The ashes from this fire are then sown through fields and around houses as a blessing and protection against the fey.

The Hawthorn is said to mark entrances to the Underworld and to aid in healing. If you’re working on any healing rituals during the time the May Bush is in your home, bless strips of cloth during the ritual and tie them to the May Bush.

And most importantly, while celebrating around your May Bush, drink some May Wine!

May Wine Recipe:

Ingredients -

1 Bottle Riesling

1/2 cup dried Woodruff

3/4 cup diced strawberries

1 bottle champagne (if desired)

Directions -

Combine the bottle of Riesling with the Woodruff, then let sit for an hour. (You can let it sit all night, but start with an hour to see how you like the taste of the Woodruff).

Pour into a glass pitcher. Add in the strawberries and champagne. Serve and enjoy!

 

Blessings of the May Queen to you and yours this beautiful Spring morning!

 

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Self Centering

April 30, 2013 in Guests, Hearth and Home, Pagan Spirituality, Uncategorized

This past week has been a lesson in Self Centering for me. Sometimes the lines between being “of service” and being expected to do something can look similar on the outside, yet they are very different energies on an inner level.  When does helping turn into a disservice to others?

My big clues were that I was beginning to feel resentful and angry towards some people in my life circles, I’m usually a down to earth, level headed kind of gal, I have an easy going nature, and generally have a positive outlook on life.  When bitterness creeps in I know something is very unbalanced and I need to take a good look at where the roots of these feelings originate. It’s not a pleasant or easy process to dig through the stuff, fortunately I am blessed to have a counsellor who is not connected to my life in any other way, and she provides a non partisan view that helps me out a lot.

Exploring the layers of emotion I realised that a pattern had formed, and that there were two parties involved, my conflicted self and the persons related to the issues. For an event to recur all the participants need to agree on some level to keep it going, the scenery and the players may change yet the general theme becomes persistent, it may play out in a hundred versions until you notice what’s happening. For me, the production goes like this. Someone asks for my assistance, I like to be helpful so provide the help, the first time I don’t expect compensation because it’s time freely given. The person asks if I can lend a hand again and promises to pay when some money comes in, I oblige because I think everyone deserves a break. The same individual requests me to help out again, often has not compensated me for my time and effort and continues to promise to pay at a later date, I say okay. This continues on, the help becomes expected or the person feels entitled to it, I have conditioned myself to keep repeating and the other person to have expectations.

I acknowledge this awareness is part of my personal growth and it can be tricky to really see what is happening, blaming others doesn’t work, what am I doing that contributes to the cycle? I got to thinking how the Goddess is the Mother of all, and how her law is love; the only thing she asks is for me to embrace what is best for my life, and to work towards creating the life I desire. So what is best for me?

Allowing people to take advantage because I feel empathy is in no way respecting me, it actually devalues my worth. My first step was to look at the areas of my life that were generating these feelings. One continual annoyance is around transportation issues, I don’t mind offering a ride depending on the circumstances; however it has morphed into an exercise in frustration on some levels. There are people who are regular passengers, in some cases for over three years, they promise payment whenever some money comes in. In time I do receive some money and am thankful, however the amount paid and the true cost of providing rides has no relationship and I am the one who absorbs the expenses. I decided to take my power back and stop this cycle by changing my behaviour, so I informed my regulars no gas money, no ride.  As you can imagine, I sure got some waves of resistance, everything from guilt trips, I was being unfair, I was preventing participation in events, it’s my job as a priestess, you are punishing me, its not my fault I am broke, you are driving there anyhow…yada, yada.

I did feel guilty and unhappy at first, and wondered if  I was being unnecessarily cruel towards these folks; the incoming responses really enforced that. When I felt really vulnerable to caving in, I let myself feel the emotions and recited the Charge of the Goddess, especially the part about “keep strong your highest ideal and strive ever towards it, let naught stop you nor turn you aside” it gave me courage and strength. I was able to close my eyes and meditate and I found what I needed within.

I understand it is not my responsibility to keep bailing people out, in fact by continually helping all I am doing is providing a band-aid; my actions keep the cycle repeating, and the resulting feelings of resentment at the expectations do have powerful potential to damage some friendships. I also know each person needs to learn how to manage their own resources whether financial or not. It’s also clear it’s all about choices, with taking the action of buying a product or participating in an event I am agreeing to the consequences of that act, even if it means peanut butter sandwiches are my staple food for a while.  If I know something like full moon ritual occurs every month, and that I need gas money, and it’s important for me to attend, what is my priority? What do I prefer, those takeout coffees or going to ritual? We all need to choose what is important to us personally.

You probably have heard the saying “The Universe Provides”, yes it does! However, if the Universe continually provides through the generosity and at the expense of other people, the scales are not in balance for the giver or the receiver. The out breath and in breath are both important to the continual flow of life, one cannot exist without the other, and so it is with all things. It’s good to take a look at your life and see what is working and what isn’t, and by honouring yourself you also honour the Gods.

May you all have a Blessed Beltane!

Dawne

 

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Magical Etiquette 101

April 22, 2013 in Sage & Scourge

I recently had an experience with a guest at my coven’s ritual, which is held in my home. This guest came in and, without asking, touched our altar and picked up tools. He also made negative comments about the way we do ritual. Needless to say, the evening only went down hill from there and the guest was not invited back.

This brings up magical etiquette, both in your own home and in the homes of others. There are a few basics that most people should be aware of. When you go to another practitioner’s house, never touch anything without permission. Everyone approaches their tools differently, and while it might be fine with permission, you should never just pick things up. This is extremely disrespectful. The same goes for altars and shrines. This isn’t just out of respect for the person who owns the altar or shrine, but for your own protection as well. Do you know what sort of work this person is doing? Do you want to inadvertantly become a part of anything they do in the privacy of their own home? Say they’re doing a love spell for a friend; what might be the results if you end up putting your energy into whatever work is being done?

This also goes for things that you might not take to be magical or religious in nature. You never know what that statue might mean to the person who lives there.

Not all of us, but most, intertwine our magical rituals with our religious ones. These are extremely personal workings that you just don’t get to butt into without permission. And this brings us to our next point; don’t make negative comments about the things you see. Our guest kept telling us that what we were doing was not what another group in the area did, and that therefore we were obviously doing things incorrectly. Why wouldn’t we use lines in our ritual that the other group used? You can see where this was quite offensive. When you go to someone else’s ritual, understand that they may not be working the way that you are used to. What they do is not wrong, it is simply different, and expecting them to change what they do to make you more comfortable is not appropriate. If you have that much of a problem with different rituals, you shouldn’t be the guest of another group in the first place. It is perfectly OK to turn down an invitation to a group’s ritual.

You might see something and disagree with how it was done, or think it should have been done differently. However, you are a guest. Ask about what you’ve seen in a positive manner. “That was a very interesting casting. May I ask why you do it that way?” is much more friendly than “I don’t do MY casting that way!” It’s offensive to force yourself into someone else’s workings and imply that you could have done it better.

When our coven has a first time guest in ritual, we explain what we will be doing, and we make sure to ask if the guest has questions at various intervals (it is actually part of the way we operate to assign certain coven members the task of making sure guests are informed and made to feel welcome). Most groups will do this if you are invited as a guest to ritual. You as the guest should expect a certain level of explanation about the ritual itself. This doesn’t mean that you’re going to learn all the secrets a group has, or be “trained,” but you deserve a basic explanation of the etiquette for the things that will be coming up in ritual. One of the worst rituals I’ve ever attended was so because there was no explanation of what was planned, and I didn’t know how to react to the things that were happening or what words to say at certain points.

If you are holding a public ritual, you also need to remember to do this. Do not assume your guests’ level of knowledge, experience, or tolerance level. A friend of mine told me about a ritual she went to that was for women’s spirituality. Sounds pretty standard right? It wasn’t until the priestess smeared something on her forehead in the middle of ritual that my friend found out that it was someone’s menstrual blood. Needless to say, smearing a stranger’s menstrual blood on someone else without explaining this sort of thing or asking permission is invasive in more ways than one. Think about what you are doing and ask people if they are OK with what is being planned, especially in cases where bodily fluids are being used.

It should also be pretty obvious that you shouldn’t insert any of your own energy into something without discussing it first with your host. Maybe your help will be welcomed and appreciated, but you can’t know without asking. Again, you don’t know exactly what a person is working toward and it’s arrogant and disruptive to assume.

Walking into another practitioner’s home should be like walking into anyone else’s home, the same basic etiquette applies. But unlike everyone else, where poking through someone’s medicine cabinet is probably not going to get you into trouble, poking your nose without permission into a practitioner’s workings might get you into a whole lot of trouble in ways that you won’t even see until six months down the road.

Don’t assume; always ask, and be aware that most things you see are probably not mundane. Look, don’t touch, and remember, you break it, you’re probably going to buy it, in a very metaphysical and unpleasant way.

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Love your body

April 16, 2013 in Hearth and Home, Pagan Spirituality, Uncategorized

I was experiencing some resistance today, and I also know what I resist persists according to the Laws of Attraction, meaning if you are actively defying a situation your energy is still focused on the problem rather than a solution. So what’s my problem and how is it solved? I feel scattered, my solution, follow my breath through my body, feel the tube of light that extending from my spine down into the earth and imagine roots growing from my feet, reaching all the way to the earth’s center. I visualize any unwanted energy flowing down my roots and being transformed into neutral energy that the planet can use in any way it needs. I sense the molten energy it to moves up the roots towards my feet and think of it becoming a calm, grounding, stable, nurturing force that travels through me and cascades over my head like a fountain. It grounds and balances as it renews my physical sense of being and I am in a better space, thank you Mama Earth!

I think of times in my life when knowing how to ground and recharge would have been helpful. Instead I would just work myself into a tizzy, spinning my brain and searching for reasons why I was in such a frazzled state. There was always some person, situation or set of circumstances that I blamed for my problems, it was nothing to do with me, or so I thought. Of course not being accountable for your actions means that you are essentially powerless because you are the only one with the power to create personal change. It took me a while to recognise that, it made all the difference to my life!

Over the years I have discovered that the logical thinking side of myself is not always my best friend, it can create all kinds of thoughts and reasons as to why something is happening, analyzing each tangent to the nth degree. Do I feel better from this process? No, in fact some thoughts trigger emotions and/or pain and I end up in a worse space than before the process started. I call it the downward spiral, you can either get off of the ride or hit bottom! When mental chatter is ongoing I feel disconnected from the intuitive part of myself, my logical mind bases everything on past experiences, future tasks, programming etc. I shift from participating in life experience to being utterly disconnected and lost in the insanity of judgements against myself and others, rather than being an observer and choosing my level of involvement. Not a place or state that I really want to visit or wallow in, whining doesn’t create solutions, and the last thing I choose to be is a whiny witch!

So what is the solution? I learned to stop, it wasn’t easy, I actually had a sign from a disaster kit that says ok on a green background, and help on the red flip side.  I trained myself to display the red side when my thoughts became overwhelming or stuck in a rut.  It provided a physical task that stopped the thought process, eventually I was able to visualize a stop sign, and even today it means take a break and reconnect. One of the quickest ways to stop a thought is to focus on your breathing and follow the air as it circulates through your body, exit with the exhale, follow the next inhale and so on. Some people journey through the chakra system; others visualize travelling the energy meridians. Whatever works, just direct your attention within and explore how it feels to be embodied and present. You might find it helpful to use your hands and feel the outer edges of your body, to be aware of where your physical being ends and the energy layers begin. Sometimes we can be so disconnected from our body that there is no awareness of the space it occupies, it’s good to make contact, search for the muscles, bones and ligaments under your skin, get to know how your body feels, the manifestation of you here and now.

The physical body is a major factor to experiencing this world, it’s aware of unseen energies and forces that the logical rational self dismisses. As Pagans we are encouraged to love and accept our physical being as much as our spirit, intellect, emotions, and passions, we are a part of the physical realm, the being-ness of the natural world and its cycles.

Our manifested physical being is important factor in our life however some religious groups encourage their devotees to have no relationship with the body or material world. A state of enlightenment or deliverance comes from denying the body and punishing it, things like extreme fasting, inflicting pain and damage known as “mortification of the flesh” are seen as ways to salvation. The body is regarded as an obstruction on the path to evolving, and prevented passage to other realms or mystical states of being. I think of the Buddha and how he fasted and practised extreme forms of physical deprivation for 6 years, it didn’t bring him enlightenment. When he gave up these practises and came to sit under a tree he discovered the true nature of his being by finding his essence and that brought illumination.

I would say the majority of Pagans come from the philosophy of harm none, generally we celebrate the physical world, the seasons and we love and celebrate our bodies because they carry us through this experience of life. So, next time you find yourself caught up in a thought loop, breathe and ground, sense your energetic and physical being, take yourself out for a walk, swim, dance or some other activity that celebrates living and feel better!

 

Abundant Blessings,

 

 

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Old Traditions, New Traditions

April 8, 2013 in Sage & Scourge

Over the weekend, my family and I had a stupid argument over a chain email my father sent me. Usually his chain emails are vaguely Christian flavored with the sort of “love thy neighbor” attitude that I have no problem with. I can usually glance at them and hit delete. This one however, was lamenting the death of Christian male privilege in our society. (Ha!) Unfortunately I hit reply and opened a big can of worms. I tend to forget that just because my parents are accepting of my Paganism, it does not mean that they are supportive or remember that my lifestyle is not theirs. They are usually quietly befuddled and have a sense of “where did we go so wrong?” about them. They try to cover it up at family gatherings and glide over the fact that their beliefs are not mine.

It’s hard to walk away from the traditions that we were raised with. In some cases you still end up participating in your old practices because of things like family gatherings. One night, a few years ago, my roommate and I were standing at work discussing our plans for the holidays. Our supervisor, an older German lady broke in and exclaimed “I don’t understand you, neither of you are Christian, why do you pretend to celebrate Christmas?”. She looked at my roommate, “you’re an Atheist…” and then she looked at me and wiggled her fingers in an indecisive manner, “and you’re…well…whatever you are!” as if by declaring us non-Christian she was driving the point home. “If you’re going TO BE non-Christian, act like it.” While both of us sat her down and explained that just because we were not Christians, it didn’t mean that our families weren’t. And that we were not only expected to participate in our family activities, that we still enjoyed being a part of our family gatherings for the sake of family itself. this moment always stands out to me as indicative of a larger problem in embracing a new community.

Some of us are lucky and we are starting to see an actual second generation and sometimes even a third of Pagan families. For the rest of us, it’s often hard to leave your background behind you and embrace new traditions. Some continue to celebrate whatever holidays we grew up with and our Pagan ones just to keep the peace. I politely refuse to go to church and when my family’s more religious activities happen, I politely bow out and go entertain myself elsewhere, but…how do we forge new traditions when some people just won’t let you escape the old ones? How do we raise our families with the traditions we embrace and not allow our old traditions to steamroll us into not integrating into our new community?

When you’re practicing two divergent sets of practices, where do you draw the line and say “this is no longer appropriate for me to be a part of” and just say “no”?

For me, I no longer allow my parents to ignore the elephant in the corner of the room. Our exchanges over the weekend were fairly unpleasant, but I hope that it made them look at the fact that I won’t just allow them to ignore a very significant part of my life. These exchanges are never pleasant, but I became Pagan for more than just the Gods. We have a wonderful, divergent community that I feel is just as important for us to embrace as the philosophy itself. We are a religion of practice. My practices are vital to my everyday life.

If I do have children, I will raise them Wiccan. If I get married, I will have a Wiccan ceremony and not be bullied into a Christian ones as several of my friends have been. When I die, I wish to be buried according to my beliefs. I asked my mother at one point who in the family would come to my theoretical wedding. Her reply was “well…I guess your dad and I”. And how sad is that? That the rest of my family wouldn’t want to help me embrace a celebration for something like a wedding? I will make sure that my children understand that while I embrace my faith, if they find another, that will be OK.

I refuse to stay in the closet to make them comfortable. I can live with this now though, so that my children won’t have to. I will take the upset and the confrontation. Leaving our old traditions are hard, but until we do, we can’t ever be free to embrace our new ones and let our families see that just because we haven’t embraced their ways, ours aren’t just as valid and important. It’s one thing to show up to a family meal for a nice piece of ham and pie, it’s quite another to ignore your religion and be untrue to yourself just to make them happy.

 

 

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Shake your worries out!

April 2, 2013 in Guests, Hearth and Home, Pagan Family, Pagan Spirituality

I had the privilege of writing and forming my circle’s Ostara ritual this year, I do have to say it wasn’t the standard plant the seeds you have already chosen at Imbolc theme. We see the Lady and Lord as the Bright Maiden of Spring and the Divine Youth of the Sun at this time of year, they celebrate the new life sprouting and budding all around us. I really think of the fun and innocence of childhood at this season, it’s a time of beginnings, of promises we make to ourselves and each other. The world is waking up after a long sleep; the secrets and mysteries we discovered in the shadows of winter can now be looked at and appreciated in daylight. The world is filled with hopefulness and optimism for the future, plans are set in motion, the foundations to root, nurture and grow the seeds, projects, changes we want to make are ready.

Spring is a wonderful time, all the drabness of winter transforms into fresh green, bird songs fill the air again, insects return, the creatures of the forest are busy finding or making dens, even the eagles where I live are rebuilding or creating new nests. Every creature is preparing for the growing season, the sun entices us to be outdoors, subtle scents travel on the wind, breezes scatter blossoms, a feeling of excitement and potential just saturates the air.  It was this feeling I wanted to capture in our ritual, it is a good thing to have goals and plans, yet sometimes the work involved to create the future harvest feels and sometimes literally is a daunting task. I decided to focus on mirth and stress relief for our ritual, so we played the laughing game, basically the leader starts laughing and the next person has to laugh better than the previous one all the way round the circle. The second round involves laughing about a problem you are experiencing, the leader starts again, it goes something like this… “Ha! Ha! Ha!  It’s going to be another financially challenging month! He He He!”  The next person goes and so on, all are encouraged to laugh with each other, and it’s a fun way to release stress. During the third round people lie on the floor with heads together and create a laughing wave, it’s almost like chanting with a new laugh picking up while another is fading out. We were all literally rolling on the floor laughing! If you want to learn more about these techniques check out laughter yoga.

For our activity and working we made Bleggs, and we shook our worries out. A Bliss Egg is a fun version of a worry stone, it’s used to shake your worries away, and it just happens to be made with those plastic eggs that surround us at this time of year and a few magical ingredients that fit inside. My eggs had jingle bells for mirth, seeds to grow beyond your worries, googly eyes to see things from a different perspective, various words, stickers, small paper flowers for spring and foam happy faces inside. Our bleggs were empowered with a song and we literally shook our eggs and ourselves to shake our worries out. The idea is to shake the bliss egg whenever life feels more like a challenge than an adventure and to think of the qualities it holds.

I know some “fundamental” Pagans would be horrified at this ritual though there was the usual structure to it. I see the 8 Sabbats as times to celebrate, moon rituals are the time I do “serious” work, and our holy days are family friendly, that means I need to accommodate everyone from our youngest 7yr old to our beautiful grandmother crone.  I’m always delighted when our young participants offer to pass out the cakes and drink after they are blessed, it makes it a double blessing in my eyes, though some say it’s because they want to see how much is left over for later. (chuckle) Could be, it doesn’t matter, I just think its way cool that they want to be involved! You know how they say witches are born, some of us discover our truth, and some don’t. I think there be young witches among us!

If you are having challenges, remember to laugh and just blegg it!

My Blegg!

My Blegg!

Abundant Blessings

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Enjoy It

March 25, 2013 in Sage & Scourge

Today my partner and I held an Ostara ritual for the local Pagan meet-up group. After cleaning the house, decorating eggs, cramming fifteen people into my tiny living room for the ritual itself, priestessing and then cleaning up afterwards…I am exhausted.

 

And after all of that, I realized that I hadn’t gotten to stop and just take a second to actually enjoy any of it. So today I am going to leave you to contemplate the amazing growth that this time of year is all about and remind you that while ritual and practice is vital to our Craft, so is taking the time to sit back and actually see what the world around us is doing during this time of year.

Bird of Paradise growing by my office

Enjoy it because there is so much beauty around us that we miss everyday in the midst of the hustle and bustle of life. If Ostara is about nothing else, it is about celebrating the fact that life is coming back to us after the long winter and that our spirits are just as renewed as the plants and the crops that are starting to grow again.

Blessed Ostara all!

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Spring Ahead

March 19, 2013 in From the Hearth, Guests, Uncategorized

Here it comes again! Spring ahead, the resting season is over! I hear grumbling, some admittedly from myself, the clock goes forward; we are deprived of time in the morning. I’ve been noticing my thoughts about the time change and my reactions to it and I have to admit I have already adapted. When I wake the sun is rising, when my day is mostly done, there is still light at supper time, it’s a time of expansion and putting ideas into action.

I know there are big changes coming to my life this year, there are things I will be doing that seemed improbable if not impossible just 5 years ago. Looking back I see that the Powers that be were waiting for me to choose a direction, and commit to a path and I have been supported, loved and guided to where I am today.  At times it seems there are so many possibilities, almost too many options and each scenario has its own appeal and learning opportunities. Some options aren’t as appealing when you dig below the surface, and it may seem like it was an illusion of some sort, a kind of glamour spell and you might even shake your head wondering just what was I thinking?  I like wearing rosy glasses, they keep me optimistic, but sometimes you need to take them off, close your eyes and feel things out with your gut instincts!  When you know something isn’t right for you there is no denying it, if you pursue the project or experience you may just find a lot of resistance, you might find yourself rolling under the wave and scraping the sand instead of surfing with it. How many times have you said yes when all your being said no? This is an issue I still work on, I am getting better at saying no and at delegating instead of being super woman and I have found it helpful to have a map of where it is I truly want to go.

Gather a journal or notebook, a favorite pen, candle, incense offering, any instrumental or percussion music that makes you feel good and a place where you can just be without interruption. You may wish to put the candle and incense on your altar, or just near you. If you wish to smudge the area and or yourself do so, when you are ready close your eyes and pay attention to your breathing, not controlling it, just let it flow. Imagine your energy travelling down your body out through your feet down into the earth, let all concerns go to be transformed in the earth. Bring the molten core of Mother Earth up through your feet and through your head, let it cascade down your body like a fountain, energizing and centering your being.  Light the incense and offer it to your Deity of choice, say something like “Blessed Goddess I offer this sweetness to honour your wisdom, I invite you to join me in this quest” Or use whatever words work for you.

Now light the candle and say “From shadow to light, from tales to truth, from doubt to trust, from fear to faith I see clearly and know my heart and will” Sit down and think of your values, what is important to you?  What do you need for your happiness and to feel complete? Write down your ideals in simple terms. Now take a few deep breaths and center again. Again say “From shadow to light, from tales to truth, from doubt to trust, from fear to faith I see clearly and know my heart and will” Think about the ways your values are reflected in your life, write these down too. When you are finished, breathe, center and repeat the chant “From…”  Look at your words; are you happy with the way your ethics and values are reflected in your life?  What would you change? What would you keep the same?

Ground and center again. Think about this exploration and pick one thing you wish to change. What could you begin to do to make this change happen in your life?  Start with something easy that doesn’t require huge amounts of energy and write down what your intention is.  For example if your value is helping others, what could you do to help someone else this week? Could you cook a meal, volunteer at a food bank, babysit, drive someone to an appointment etc.?  Remember to add the date; it helps you to keep track of what you are working on next time you do this exercise.

When you are actively working on creating change the Universe supports you to do so, I think sometimes our energies can be so scattered in so many directions that energy can dissipate, it makes more sense to focus or direct energy towards one thing at a time, kind of the sun through the magnifying glass effect. Those of you who have studied mindfulness already are familiar with this concept; basically it means being fully present in whatever activity you are doing in the moment.  When you wash dishes, think about washing dishes, experience the water, soap, the motion of cleaning, how the dishes feel etc.  I know everyone talks about multi-tasking these days, and we pride ourselves on how efficient we are at it-sometimes more is less!

If you need some motivation to work on the changes you wish to create review the writing, I also have a little chant I say when I’m dragging my heels, it might help you too! “Thought to word, word to action, action to practise brings satisfaction!”

The Equinox is very near, so Happy Ostara all!  Spring ahead with passion and blossom into the beautiful being you are and that the world welcomes!

Abundant Blessings!

Dawne

 

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