Not All the Same
April 7, 2011 in Family Dynamics
A lot of material that is written for Pagan families assume that everyone in the family has the same beliefs. What happens during Ostara or Beltane when you want to do ritual but your partner isn’t Pagan and you have two children who just want to be children? As a relatively new religion on the scene, we don’t have enough experience or council to adequately address the different types of families we have within our community and that not all families fit into the cookie cuter dynamic of a “Pagan family”.
It is important for those alternative families to understand that just because you don’t have all your family members on the same page spiritually you can still work with your family towards a comfortable spiritual dynamic. You may not be able to find a lot of Pagan family suggestions that fit your alternative family style, but there are a couple of good points you could consider when designing quality spiritual time that fits your family style.
The first point I would make to any family who is working towards increasing spiritual activity among family members would be not to compare your family against another. If you are looking at other Pagan families to get some ideas around how to practice, this could be an insightful activity but you have to keep in mind that no family is just like another. Your family will embody a different spirit and history from any other family and this uniqueness should not be stifled because there is a status quo about how a Pagan family should look. Evaluate how others practice with their families and then you can merge some of the elements that fit with your family.
Secondly, it is a great idea to remember that spirituality is in the eye of the beholder. If you are living and creating a family dynamic that is loving and supportive, you are already practicing the art of being spiritual. So often when Witch’s are looking to incorporate spiritual practices into their household, it is easy to forget about the already existing spiritual element that is being practiced. Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water and assume that when you are transitioning your family from one practice to another that all things have to change. Evaluate your existing dynamic and identify the beautiful things that are already a part of your family tradition. Take those elements that you have identified and then use it as foundation to build on.
Last point to include for this post would be the incredible power that validation can give to a family and how that feeds into the idea that all things are sacred and spirituality starts from inside. When you are able to validate your family members on this journey, you are strengthening the very foundation that you are building on and setting the stage for a positive interaction. The mundane pressure of life takes us away from the simple positive engagements that help to solidify relationships and validation or acknowledgement is one of the best tools to have. Take the time to enjoy your family today and this will help your spiritual life together as well.
Not all Pagan families look the same. Being Pagan is not about being a vegetarian or a meat eater, a homeschooler or a public school parent, a person who makes tools or buys them; instead it is about identifying what feels good to you and your family in your quest for improving the quality of your lives.