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Shake your worries out!

April 2, 2013 in Guests, Hearth and Home, Pagan Family, Pagan Spirituality

I had the privilege of writing and forming my circle’s Ostara ritual this year, I do have to say it wasn’t the standard plant the seeds you have already chosen at Imbolc theme. We see the Lady and Lord as the Bright Maiden of Spring and the Divine Youth of the Sun at this time of year, they celebrate the new life sprouting and budding all around us. I really think of the fun and innocence of childhood at this season, it’s a time of beginnings, of promises we make to ourselves and each other. The world is waking up after a long sleep; the secrets and mysteries we discovered in the shadows of winter can now be looked at and appreciated in daylight. The world is filled with hopefulness and optimism for the future, plans are set in motion, the foundations to root, nurture and grow the seeds, projects, changes we want to make are ready.

Spring is a wonderful time, all the drabness of winter transforms into fresh green, bird songs fill the air again, insects return, the creatures of the forest are busy finding or making dens, even the eagles where I live are rebuilding or creating new nests. Every creature is preparing for the growing season, the sun entices us to be outdoors, subtle scents travel on the wind, breezes scatter blossoms, a feeling of excitement and potential just saturates the air.  It was this feeling I wanted to capture in our ritual, it is a good thing to have goals and plans, yet sometimes the work involved to create the future harvest feels and sometimes literally is a daunting task. I decided to focus on mirth and stress relief for our ritual, so we played the laughing game, basically the leader starts laughing and the next person has to laugh better than the previous one all the way round the circle. The second round involves laughing about a problem you are experiencing, the leader starts again, it goes something like this… “Ha! Ha! Ha!  It’s going to be another financially challenging month! He He He!”  The next person goes and so on, all are encouraged to laugh with each other, and it’s a fun way to release stress. During the third round people lie on the floor with heads together and create a laughing wave, it’s almost like chanting with a new laugh picking up while another is fading out. We were all literally rolling on the floor laughing! If you want to learn more about these techniques check out laughter yoga.

For our activity and working we made Bleggs, and we shook our worries out. A Bliss Egg is a fun version of a worry stone, it’s used to shake your worries away, and it just happens to be made with those plastic eggs that surround us at this time of year and a few magical ingredients that fit inside. My eggs had jingle bells for mirth, seeds to grow beyond your worries, googly eyes to see things from a different perspective, various words, stickers, small paper flowers for spring and foam happy faces inside. Our bleggs were empowered with a song and we literally shook our eggs and ourselves to shake our worries out. The idea is to shake the bliss egg whenever life feels more like a challenge than an adventure and to think of the qualities it holds.

I know some “fundamental” Pagans would be horrified at this ritual though there was the usual structure to it. I see the 8 Sabbats as times to celebrate, moon rituals are the time I do “serious” work, and our holy days are family friendly, that means I need to accommodate everyone from our youngest 7yr old to our beautiful grandmother crone.  I’m always delighted when our young participants offer to pass out the cakes and drink after they are blessed, it makes it a double blessing in my eyes, though some say it’s because they want to see how much is left over for later. (chuckle) Could be, it doesn’t matter, I just think its way cool that they want to be involved! You know how they say witches are born, some of us discover our truth, and some don’t. I think there be young witches among us!

If you are having challenges, remember to laugh and just blegg it!

My Blegg!

My Blegg!

Abundant Blessings

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Culture Clash

October 22, 2012 in Sage & Scourge

I have a more serious topic for tonight.

For those of you who don’t know, I live in New Orleans, and it’s fairly rare for me to leave the city limits. New Orleans is a busy place; we have a lot going on. When I do leave New Orleans, it’s usually to go further afield than anything that could be considered local. My curmudgeonly Wiccan travels quite often, and when my job allows, I go with him. And quite honestly, I don’t know that New Orleans really likes to think about the fact that it sits in the midst of Louisiana and in return, Louisiana doesn’t usually like to claim New Orleans either.

As for me, I generally forget entirely that I now live in Louisiana. Don’t get me wrong, Louisiana is a pretty awesome place in and of itself, but my life is focused in and around the city and the goings ons in the very immediate community. Even Baton Rouge is too far off for me to generally think about.

That said, over the weekend, my curmudgeonly Wiccan, my coven sister and I all ventured out to Springfield Louisiana to play some music for the local Pagan group. I’ve been to this particular camp ground before, the man who runs it, Clifton Eakin, was described to me as “the nicest Pagan you’ll ever meet.” I’m pretty sure that he actually is. He runs a beautiful campground called The Gryphon’s Nest and seems like he is central to the local Pagan community. Cliff runs an Eclectic group and generally seems to pull in a lot of the various Pagans from around the whole state. If you ever have an opportunity to go to an event he runs, go for it.

We had arrived and set up equipment, and we found ourselves with about an hour to kill. I found myself a quiet spot under a huge set of Satsuma trees and thought it would be wise to put my feet up for awhile. I was in full costume (as a sugar skull) and I knew I still had a long night before me, when a very cute eighteen or nineteen year old in a belly dancing bra and sarong came bouncing up to me.

She was extremely pretty and had come over to tell me that she really liked my outfit. We began talking. I returned the compliment and told her that I really liked her belly dancing bangles and she confessed to me that she wasn’t sure she looked very good because her belly was exposed.

This girl was gorgeous and remember, maybe nineteen. She was a very curvaceous girl, like me, and I told her that girls shaped like us need to embrace our curves, as adult women, are curves are here to stay. The conversation then proceeded like this.

Cute, 19 year old: “My boffriend is 21 years old and still lives with his mama!”

Me: “Well, sometimes it takes some time to get yourself established on your own”.

C19YO: “He don’t even have a job!”

Me: “Well, that could probably be a problem, you should encourage him to go out and find something. Jobs are important”.

C19YO: “Well, when you have them babies, you have to support them…”,

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t have any babies”

C19YO: *after pointed looking at my curves* “What?!!! You don’t have no babies?!!!” *Shakes head and wanders off muttering about how her boyfriend needs to make money to help her get her baby back from childrens services*

Me: *stands with mouth agape in astonishment* Then to my Wiccan: “She’s what, 19? And she’s managed to have babies and have them taken away by Child Services?”

*Wiccan shakes head and nods…*

Now, if I were in any other sort of rural situation (especially in the rural areas where I grew up) an exchange like this probably wouldn’t have astonished me. I grew up in a small town in Ohio and it was pretty standard to start having children in high school. What astonished me so much about this exchange was that I was in the midst of a Pagan gathering and I knew that this girl had been raised in Paganism.

One of the things that drew me to Paganism initially was it’s focus on strong women who seem to have knowledge of both the physical and the spiritual/intellectual. All of the Pagan women that I’ve known have embraced family planning, as well as some good common sense about how to take care of their families. Pagan mothers are some of the most strong women that I know. They are also not hampered by the general, more monotheistic approach that birth control is somehow undesirable. Most of the Pagan parents I know had children when they knew it was time to do so.

I myself, do not have children, as stated above. I generally see my column on this very family oriented website as a voice of those of us who are just starting their families and establishing their households, and perhaps, those who are trying to figure out how to integrate slightly different belief systems while doing all of this. It’s a confusing place.

But you better believe that I don’t have children because I have decided that I simply do not want them yet. Family planning is not just a suggestion. Could I manage to have children right now? Yes. Do I think that my current lifestyle would be child friendly and do I want to change my current lifestyle? No to either one. I generally believe that when it’s time to have children, a lot more than the fun that leads up to the conception is involved.

Our community promotes knowledge, both intellectual and of the self. And yes, when we’re young, we do stupid things and yes, accidents will always happen. But this girl was exactly like most of the girls that I had grown up with, and I was left standing there with my mouth agape, wondering where her elders were to have neglected to teach her how to take care of herself and her family.

I think that right now, especially with all of the politics that are current in the U. S., we, as a community, need to remember that we can’t take the early movements of both feminism and Paganism for granted.

Maybe this is also an example of how much Paganism has changed from the movements of the sixties and the seventies. But people, we need to talk to our children. I’ve given the birds and the bees speech to a few younger people in my time and I have certainly given a swift kick in the pants to a few people of a similar age group when they decided that they didn’t know what to do with their lives. I may not be a parent, but I have certainly done my own share of parenting. That is what our community does, we step in and help when someone needs it. And yes, my elders have certainly managed to step in for me numerous times as well. An important element of Paganism, no matter what tradition or path you follow, is about taking responsibility for yourself and for your community.

I was saddened by this interaction. Yes, sometimes it’s embarrassing to sit someone down and explain how babies are made and how they are prevented, but I would much prefer to be embarrassed than to have a girl, like this, have children before they’re ready to be able to handle it.

Knowledge is power and we, as Pagans, should know better.

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Pagans, Hospitals, and Premature Babies

March 20, 2012 in Guests

I have been a parent for 45 months.

In that time, between my two children, we’ve racked up more than 560 days of hospital admissions.

That’s more than 18 months total – more than 1/3 of our nights as parents spent with a child in the hospital.

455 of those days were spent in the NICU – 291 for my first child, and 164 for my second – due to premature birth.

We’re getting to be pros at this hospital thing.

Being in the hospital with a sick child is hard. It’s hard to balance normal things like making sure you eat once in a while and get a shower with staying with your child and taking care of their needs. It’s hard to sleep on the so-called couches and pull-out beds that hospitals allow parents to sleep on in their child’s room, if they let you stay at all. It’s hard to see them in pain, to see the procedures they have to go through, to care for them amongst tubes and wires. It’s hard when you know there’s a chance your child might die.

That whole situation is even harder when you add in being Pagan, when most of the people around you are definitely not.

When you see nurses and doctors who care for your child each day wearing crosses and saint’s medals (or symbols of other faiths – though less common, amongst our various medical teams we have a doctor who wears a hijab and a doctor who wears a yarmulke), you know it’s likely they would have a different opinion of you if they knew your religion.

And that leaves you wondering whether they’d treat your child differently if they knew.

In the NICU, a lot of families have support from their churches. Pastors make calls on parents at their child’s bedside, church members bring meals, gifts show up, and cards get taped to the walls. In the case of one family we met in the NICU, a half dozen men in suits (keep in mind, the rule was no more than 4 people in to see a baby at a time) showed up every night to pray over the tiny boy, blocking out nurses who needed access to care for him.

Pagan families, if they’re lucky, have a Pagan friend or two – usually a member of their coven or grove or someone they know from coffee night – show up once or twice, or call to see how things are going.

Most hospitals don’t have Pagan chaplains of any sort – in my month of hospital bedrest before the birth of my second child, I met all of the chaplains at our “home” hospital (the one we spend the most time in – our home away from home). Only the Jewish chaplain actually asked what faith I was; only one (a chaplain in training) commented on the Goddess statue on my nightstand. If there’s anyone in their files to contact, it’s more than likely me, with a phone number that’s been out of service for several years.

And that leaves us all in a bit of a muddle. We’re afraid to be open about our faith in this very trying time, and often have little or no support from our spiritual community. And spiritual connections are one of the things that can help us get through the crazy times in a hospital setting.

With all that in mind, last year I started a support group for Pagan families who are or have been through the NICU experience. We have a facebook page, a newsletter, twitter, and a blog (all of which are updated as I can, given the medical issues here and the level of care my two former preemies need).

I also wrote an ebook on the subject, “Pagan Parenting in the NICU” – free as a PDF on the blog, but available as a very low cost download in other formats from Smashwords.

We also offer care packages for families currently in the NICU. We haven’t shipped one yet but the intention is to include things many families find useful during their hospital stay – snacks, notepad, and other things for parents, clothing and other baby goods appropriately sized for their child, and some faith related things. As a family, we’ve been doing care packages for the smallest preemies in our home NICU, so we’ve got quite a few things on hand already.

If you’ve been through the NICU rollercoaster, or just want to support other Pagan families, you’re welcome to connect with the group through any of the links listed below. You can sign up for our newsletter on our blog. And If you know of a Pagan family who’s in the midst of the NICU experience, fill out the page on our blog to request a care package (or suggest to them to request one for themselves).

Parenting Pagan Preemies Links:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Pagan-Parents-of-Preemies/217155944991249

http://paganpreemies.blogspot.com/

http://twitter.com/PaganPreemies

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Ostara At Our House

March 19, 2012 in Family Crafting

I guess it is my turn to talk about our plans for Ostara. Around here there will probably be two different observances. One for the kids and one that is tied into the New Moon for the adults.

For the kids we will be decorating eggs and maybe eating some as well. With only my youngest to join us, we will probably not have an egg hunt. Although a local church will have a large public one as we get closer to Easter, that she may go to.

But primarily our focus will be on recharging. My wife will be switching jobs real soon and we will work on pulling up some fertility for that.

The second ritual will be the conclusion of a spell started a month ago. One to let old things go and to bring new things in. Fitting that it coincides so well with Ostara.

I hope that you all have a great Ostara and I would love to hear any of your plans that you may have for Ostara.

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The Time Between

October 19, 2011 in Guests

My husband, six year old daughter, and I took a walk through the woods and farmland of the Brandywine River Valley today. The sky was cloudless and blue; the air almost summer warm.  But tan fields of dry corn stalks, the first  yellow leaves spiraling down, and high honking Vs of geese  heading south left no doubt that Autumn is here.

Ramsey Farm’s tractors rumbled and bumped  up and down the  hills  dropping families off at the pumpkin fields while family groups wandered through the corn maze. Soon combines will harvest the “feed cord” turning tall stalks to stubble, and stripping hard golden kernels from their cobs.
Autumn, the season of Mabon and Samhain, is my favorite season because is stands between.  It is the ripened fruit on the withering plant.   It is a time of transition and transformation.

Today the woods brought this lesson home.  As we began our walk, we stopped to look at a Black Rat Snake sharing the trail and enjoying a patch of sunlight.  I explained to out little girl that soon it would grow cold and the snake would find a hollow log, a burrow, or even a space under our wood pile where it would  spend the winter hibernating.

We too are basking in the sunlight of this warm day,  enjoying it all the more because we know that soon the warmth will depart.

Towards the end of our walk,  I found a snake skin on the trail.   I held it in the palm of my hand and felt the tingle of its residual energy.  I explained that  the old skin had become too small and maybe too full of parasites –that the process of shedding old skin takes work,  but that  the snake emerges with a beautiful new skin and travels on leavening the old skin behind.

Just as we neared the small parking lot, our daughter exclaimed, “Eew mommy! Poor possum!”
A small possum lay  on the side of the trail where the tractor had cleared underbrush.   As we stepped around it, we talked a little about the natural cycle of endings and beginnings–the possum would return to the earth, but in the spring new baby possums would be born.

Through nature walks and observance of nature based spirituality, our six-year old daughter knows  that there is a cycle–that  every living thing  is born, changes, and will someday die. As she moves toward the light, cuddles her doll and talks about kindergarten, the cycle isn’t something she dwells upon–nor would we want her to do so.  But as middle-ages adults, we carry and accept this reminder that we are all blessed and bound into this cycle; that death leads to rebirth; darkness to light, and that we all shift from one existence into another.

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Banishing the Boredom

August 11, 2011 in Guests

With the hot Texas weather, 105 on most days, comes lazy indoor afternoons.  Having your children inside for any length of time brings about lots of tv/video games, boredom and just plain bickering.  With all this going on, what’s a pagan mama to do?  Start improvising that’s for sure.

Below you will find some activities that just might be the thing you need to banish the hot summertime boredom and add in a bit of pagany play along the way.

1.  Dream Catcher:  The book, Nature’s Playground, is an invaluable resource for any pagan or nature loving family.  It is divided into sections based on seasons.  Wild Weaving is one of the many activities included in the summer section.  Before beginning, you’ll need to go on an early morning or late evening hike to find all the needed materials.

Here’s what you do:

First, bend a twig into a circular form.  Wrap twine or floral wire around the ends to secure.  Next, tie twine onto the circle.  Wrap it haphazardly across and back around the frame forming a web.  Tie the lose end to the frame to secure.  Finally, tie a loop of twine on the top of the frame and 3 strands of twine to the bottom.  The bottom strands will be for securing decorations from nature.

To decorate your dream catcher, find treasures from nature to weave into the web and hang from the bottom twine.  You may even weave grasses and leaves around the frame to add some extra flare.

2.  Nature Collages:  Use left over materials from the dream catchers and a bit of water color to create an eye pleasing collage from nature.  Paint a 9X9 square of thick paper with naturally pleasing colors.  It’s always fun to choose two colors like red and yellow.  The children will be amazed when the third color magically appears.  Allow the paint to dry.

Next, arrange a variety of natural materials onto your painted mat.  Move the items around until you find a position that you enjoy.  Removing one item at a time, glue all materials into place.

Finally, find a location to hang your collage for others to see.

3.  Forts:  Your little ones will need a handful of flat sheets, some clothes pins, and bar stools.  Demonstrate how to lay the sheets on top of furniture, on bar stools, etc.  Show your kiddos how to wrap the material from the sheet around the furniture and clip tight with clothes pins.  From there, let their imagination take over.  Hopefully, fort building will be an adventure that fills the entire afternoon.

4.  Hedgehog Rolls:  Make a batch of yummy rolls shaped like cute little hedgehogs. Consider using Pillsbury french bread or biscuits if making bread from scratch isn’t for you.  The directions can be found HERE.

image source unknown

5.  Thumbprint Art: Directions are posted on my blog, Natural Simplicity.

6.  Homemade Air Dry Clay:  Use these directions to create wonderful clay sculptures of animals, leaves, whatever you imagination can ponder.

7.  Story Sack: A story sack is a great tool to use in story telling.  With a little prep work and alot of imagination, your family will be weaving a tale worthy of a Caldecott.

8.  Game of Nim:  Collect 20 coins and get ready to play this simple, yet challenging math game.  Even the youngest kiddos can join in the fun.

9.  Homemade Baggie Ice Cream:  What more needs to be said?  Head on over to Makin’ Magic and snag the directions.

10.  Sandy Beach Self Portraits:  More fun than playing with paper dolls.  This activity is bound to give your kidlets an interactive afternoon that is totally unplugged.  Directions are HERE.

Hope you got a few ideas to keep your little ones active and your sanity intaked.  Enjoy these last days of summer.  Soon we greet Cousin Fall in all his glory.

Blessed Be.

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Explaining Paganism in a Christian Society

May 26, 2011 in Guests

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Has your little lovely ever come home from school and proudly professed to being a christian?

How do you have a conversation about your pagan spirituality without crossing the lines that could lead to social backlash in your child’s future… especially if you live in the Bible Belt?

First of all, be very open with your child.  Have your child explain why he/she feels this way and what has lead to this belief in christianity.  Most of the time a conversation with peers discussing the christian god has lead him/her to believe that this is how everyone feels.  You are suppose to believe in god or face the wraths of hell.

Knowing how your child arrived to this conclusion will help steer your conversation in the direction of your choosing.

If you are not openly calling your family pagans, you might want to think things through before broaching the subject any further.  After you and your significant other have discussed what you would like to share, you can call a family meeting or have a more informal conversation over dinner.

Possible Beliefs to Discuss (if you are hanging out in the broom closet):

  • The goddess you believe in is different than that of some other people.
  • The goddess does not need to be feared.  She is here for guidance and acceptance.
  • The goddess is in all things both living and non-living.  This would be the perfect time to go on a nature walk and discuss the signs of the goddess first hand.
  •  All things are precious and should be taken care of.  This is a great time to share how you take care of nature and the natural world… recycling, gardening, simplifying your lifestyle.
  • The seasons guide us on our spiritual journey.  Give examples:  In the fall, we celebrate the harvesting of crops.  In the spring, we celebrate rebirth and new beginnings.  Have your child come up with new ideas for seasonal celebrations.
  • Our beliefs are shared at special times of year: through our nature table and every day as we honor the earth and all it has given us.
  • You might even want to discuss the concept of the Wiccan Rede: And it harm none do as you will.  Discuss the Rule of Three:  Whatever your give unto this earth comes back to you 3 times in return… be it positive or negative.

*If you feel referring to the goddess directly will have negative implications for your child, consider calling her something more vague such as Mother Earth or Luna.  You could also simple refer to the goddess as god until a time in which your child will understand.  I think the goddess will forgive your lack of formality in order to protect your child from ridicule.

There are many other concepts you can share during this discussion.  Just remember to be open and honest.  Let your child do most of the talking.  By listening, you may learn a bit of something about your kiddo along the way.

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Pagan Pancakes

March 30, 2011 in Guests

Introducing children to the craeft can be tricky – especially when your children are very young.  The concepts of Goddess and God are particularly difficult to understand.  My parenting approach is very natural and intuitive, and I have found explaining traditional concepts of deity to my children to be frustrating and even counter-intuitive.  So, we have settled on a different approach.

My little ones are learning to honor and speak with deity by observing the seasons and communicating with the natural environment around them.  We turn to Grandmother Moon and Mother Earth, the Green Man and Father Sky.  When something goes missing, we call upon the Finder Fairies for help, and all of our children delight in leaving their shiniest white teeth as offerings for the Tooth Fairies.   Our children’s explorative and inquisitive natures have also made it easy to introduce the Elementals and the importance of balance and intention throughout our everyday routines; and one of our favorite ways to do this is by encouraging our children to help out at meal times.

Scott Cunningham wrote in his book Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Wicca in the Kitchen, that pancakes are linked with the two most important gifts of the earth – grain and milk; and are thus honored as highly magical foods.  It just so happens, that pancakes are also a favorite in our home and absolutely honored as highly magical foods.

The following recipe is a fun way to introduce and explore pagan concepts with your children.  It is written as we perform it – I hope you enjoy.

PAGAN PANCAKE BREAKFAST

The Ingredients:

  • 1 large egg
  • 1 c – whole wheat flour
  • 1 c – buttermilk
  • ¼ c – butter, melted and cooled
  • 1 tbsp – packed brown sugar
  • 2 tbsp – vegetable oil
  • 1 tsp – baking powder
  • ½ tsp – baking soda
  • ¼ tsp – salt

The How

  1. CLEANSE THE SPACE: We talk about the Elemental Water and the importance of clearing dirt, grime and negative energy from our space as we physically clean the area to be used for food preparation.
  2. GATHER AND COMBINE INGREDIENTS: As the kids help gather ingredients and read the recipe, we discuss the Elemental Air as related to intellect and creativity.  As they poor the ingredients into the mixing bowl and begin to mix them, we talk about what we are doing, what ingredients we are using and where they come from – the Elementals Earth and Water.
  3. *Beat egg in medium bowl with a hand beater until fluffy – then beat in remaining ingredients.
  4. VISUALIZE and FOCUS INTENTION: While mixing, we discuss the importance of infusing love and positive energy into our food as we prepare it.  We imagine a loving happy home, laughing and enjoying each other’s company, etc.  – this is truly their first real experience with spell work.
  5. HEAT GRIDDLE OR SKILLET and COOK: Our gas stove allows us to cook over an obvious flame, so it is easy to relate the cooking process to the Elemental Fire.  We also further discuss intentions as we inscribe the batter of each pancake with hearts, stars or other symbols to bless the food as it cooks.
  6. FLIP ‘EM and STACK ‘EM: Flipping the pancakes reveals hidden messages and pictures in the browned side of the pancake which is also a great way to introduce children to simple divination.  My kids LOVE taking turns interpreting the magical symbols.
  7. SERVE and EAT: When the pancakes are fully cooked and ready to serve, we again visit the subject of intention and visualization.  We take a moment with our hands over our plates above our food to direct and infuse the food we are about to consume with our own loving energies and to say thanks to Mother Earth and Father Sky for providing such a wonderful meal.  We butter and syrup our pancakes then dig in.

The End Result

One very happy family with children who are actively relating pagan concepts to their own actions, abilities and of course, delicious grounding sustenance.

Blessings,

Luhnna

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Reconciling Faiths

March 3, 2011 in Guests

courtesy of freedigitalphotos.com

I am Pagan; my husband is not. It hasn’t always been this way. I was raised Roman Catholic, my mother dragging my brother and I to church every Sunday. It was boring and painful; I hated it. Once I was Confirmed (and therefore considered an adult in the eyes of the Church), I quit going. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I never had a need to go back until I got married. Luckily we found a priest who didn’t mind that only I was Catholic and never went to Mass, so I had the traditional church wedding that I had always wanted.

In those early years it didn’t matter much to me that I was Catholic and my husband was not. He identifies as Christian, but was never baptized or went to church. Everything he knows about his religion came from his father, who (unfortunately) believes that the Bible is the exact and true word of God and never deviates from it. We argued about him not being baptized – I was worried I wouldn’t see him in heaven; he made rude comments about my faith and I worried it would be difficult raising our kids Catholic with all his jokes and jabs about my beliefs. Eventually, the argument died down. I had our kids baptized, sent them to religion, and he just went along with it.

That was until about three years ago. I discovered Paganism. Sure, I’d heard of it and Wicca before, but this time I was interested and the more I read, the more it felt like I had come home to a true spiritual path that I hadn’t known I was seeking. I hid it from my husband at first; I was sure he’d think I were crazy and worshipping Satan. I slowly left the newly purchased books about Wicca and witchcraft out where he could see them, made a special place on the bookshelf for my sacred tools. I don’t really recall when or how I finally told him, but I do remember the fights. He tried to make me see it was bad and scary, while I tried to make him understand that this was who I was now. He didn’t want to see or have anything to do with Paganism or Wicca in his house; he also refused to let me explain to him what it was about so that maybe he could understand without fear.

There was one particular night after we’d been arguing about it when I sat wondering if I could really continue to be married to him because of this, and what was more important – my husband, or my faith? Time passed and just like years before, the argument faded away. He learned that this was not just a fad and that I was serious. I agreed to continue our children’s Catholic education until they had made their First Communion because I felt it was important to have a basic understanding of a traditional (and yes, more socially accepted) faith and he agreed that I would share my new beliefs with them as well.

We’ve come a long way, looking back. I now have an entire room devoted to my faith and the Craft rather than just a shelf; he even helped me refinish the second hand tables I bought to use as altars. He gets in his little pokes here and there, but I know they’re in fun. He even had Samhain dinner with my Circle this year. He doesn’t argue when I teach things to the kids he doesn’t agree and when they ask me if they are Pagan or Christian, I tell them both. Sometimes my younger daughter will make negative comments about Christianity and I remind her that she needs to be respectful of others’ beliefs even if they are not her own. Eventually, when they are old enough, I’d like my girls to choose their own path based on what feels right to them. Yes, I’d like them to choose the Goddess, but  until then, all I can do is hold their hands and guide them the short while they walk along mine.

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