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The Lady’s Blessings

May 14, 2013 in Guests, Hearth and Home, Uncategorized

On Mother’s Day I was thinking about the women who have influenced my life over the years, of course my own Mom, and also other Mothers, Aunties, Granma’s, friends and mentors along my journey. There are a few who helped bring huge changes to my life, and I would like to share a few stories in honour of the Divine Feminine that touches every person.

My Mom was gracious and married late in life, my parents adopted a toddler and decided to take on another baby boy and went to a different orphanage in Scotland. I was 6 weeks old and had arrived the day before their visit, I’d been 4lbs 2oz at birth and was up to 7lbs by then, though I must have been tiny because my Mom to be thought I was a doll at first. She was horrified that such a “wee babe” was in the children’s home, and felt compelled to see me properly, that was the beginning of our relationship in this life. My parents immigrated to Canada when I was 4, my Dad got work but Mom didn’t even though she had a doctorate degree. She ended up assisting my father who was also a professor, transforming his research notes into papers for scientific journals, meticulously drawing all the strange microscopic creatures, I marvelled at her skill. Mom had been one of the first female Professors at Berkley University in the 1940’s, then returned to Scotland to be with her family and began doing research on animal pathogens at Edinburgh University before she married. My Mother had been financially independent before we immigrated, she never made a cent from the work she did to support my father, and it was something that wasn’t talked about.

I was around 7 when we were in a car accident that left her permanently injured, somehow I fell  into the floor space behind the front seats and the car crumpled around me, Mom wasn’t so lucky. Her life became filled with pain, Dr’s appointments, procedures, physio, endless meds etc. she changed from a social person to a shut in. I took on the house chores and began to resent that I was expected to, Mom and I always seemed to be bickering and arguing, there was more disapproval than support, we didn’t do activities together anymore, and I missed the Mother I had before the accident. As the years passed our conflicts grew more serious, by the time I was 12 the whole family unit was in crisis and falling apart. I left home at the first opportunity that presented itself and dissolved all ties; it took me until my mid 20’s to connect again.

My Mom and I sat down and had a very honest, difficult and painful conversation, we both cried and apologized for our hurtful words and behaviour towards each other in the past. I understood that she had also been hurting, scared and frustrated, and we were able to mend our relationship. My Mom passed when I was 27; we had a lengthy phone call the day before, sharing our life experiences, laughing and appreciating our connection. I love you.

When I was a girl women from our church would show up and whisk me away for an afternoon or weekend, they brought meals and baking for my family. I learned to knit bandages to hymns, a kind of magic in itself, we made old cards into baskets, I discovered the mystery of suspending fruit in gelatine, that washing machines were useful for cleaning baby dills before pickling and how baking soda and lemon juice cleaned just about everything. Daisy, Edna, Beda, Cathy, Granma Taylor thank you!

Kate and I sat outside the office of the women’s transition house one stormy night. Her first words were “Do I look as bad as you?” I replied “I hope it looks better that it feels!” we grinned and became allies. Our friendship grew, we talked about our dreams, how next time we would break the cycle, we knew we didn’t deserve abuse. That was so long ago, we have both learned the difference between love and cruelty, and discovered self love in the reflection of each other. Kate you are precious!

Sheila and I met at a women activists group, and we were tired of marching and holding signs in the sun, wind and rain! We mimicked the parody of politics and transformed it into street theatre; we were fabulous together and even got on the news. Your hug is as big as the Universe my beloved Auntie, Wise One, Mother all wrapped in one. When I am an old woman may I be as spry and have a sense of humor like you, you are the beautiful sound of laughter.

My birth mother Valerie, there was no mistaking I am your child; I saw my face reflected in yours for the first time and knew my beginnings. We walked together for a time, you told me of my ancestors, how they once served the Lady, the gifts of our blood. Your love touched me, thank you for carrying me into this life.

Today I am surrounded with beautiful, strong, creative women, I love my HPS and her family as if they were blood kin, and we are a family of choice. I have bonded with my inner circle and we are only one tree in a grove of many others, and we are all connected. The Goddess touches us through our mothers, grandmas, sisters, aunties, female friends and she is also found within every man and boy, her reflection is found within you and in eyes of others. Did you realize the Lady blesses the world through you? Just something to think about

Abundant Blessings

Dawne

 

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Intrafaith Segregation: The “Us” vs. “Them” Mentality

June 5, 2012 in A Community Without Walls

All this past month I have been doing a survey on the various world-wide Pagan networking groups I am on, including right here in my very own community, to see what the world Pagan Community wants to read about and the number one subject that came to my attention was the issue of Pagans attacking Pagans. Some people feel that they are constantly being in question: “Am I Pagan enough?” I have, of course, dealt with this for many years in various communities, however I wanted to see what other people have been experiencing as well. So I set out to do some research, and this is what I found.

The first question I’d probably end up addressing is, “What do you mean, Us vs. Them?” Well honestly, the first thing that comes to people’s minds upon understanding that this is a Pagan blog is the argument of Pagans vs. Christianity, but that’s not what this is about. This is about a civil war right within our very own Faith.

I am always browsing through various Pagan and Pagan-friendly networking sites looking for interesting articles on things going on in the Pagan Community and looking for shared experiences and opinions on the different daily adversities and accomplishments going on within our lives. One thing I commonly come up against is the “Us vs. Them” equation. “Real” Pagans vs. “Fluff Bunnies.”

I’d like to take this time to point out to anyone who may just so happen to be of a Traditional branch of Witchcraft/Wicca–if you happen to be one of the offenders of this equation–let me remind you that once upon a time, your tradition was considered to be the “fluff bunny” of Witchcraft. Now take a look at your tradition: currently considered to be one of the most knowledgeable and common forms of Witchcraft in the U.S. today. We all had our start somewhere, and we should never forget our roots.

I recently read a blog aloud to my High Priestess. The blog was about a young 16 year old boy who had been ordained as a Minister over the net and claimed to be Wiccan over Twitter, however he did not conduct himself in a manner befitting the mantle of responsibility taken on by Ministers, nor did he know much about Wicca. The Pagan who chose to call him out has been known to troll for what she considers to be “fluff bunnies” and calls them out in a public forum. Instead of asking them why they believe the way they do, and trying to guide them with her 20+ years of experience (she herself being around 40) she decides to challenge them in a manner which proves that they have no clue what they’re talking about, disgracing them publicly, and then blames some of it on parents allowing their children to read Llewellyn books. The whole ordeal is always done in a very patronizing manner not befitting of a Priestess of the God/ess.

I felt the need to speak up on behalf of the 16-year-old boy (as I myself was ordained very young, though I conducted myself much differently and was taken much more seriously.) My response to the woman’s blog was thus:

—–
“Ok, I do feel the need to respond to this one, especially after having read the blog entry of ‘All Pagans stop posting this Us vs. Them shit on your [Facebook] timeline!’ True, many Pagans have the mentality of it is Paganism vs. Christianity, but are we ourselves not perpetuating the very same thing in the Us vs. Fluffy Bunnies mentality?

“We are not here to call out every Fluff Bunny out there. We’re here to help guide and educate those who have a real interest in walking the Pagan Path regardless of which Tradition.

“I feel as though this situation could have been handled better. Some things to take into consideration are that so long as you understand your Faith and can conduct yourself in the appropriate manner, you are never too young to be a Minister. You can’t legally perform ceremonies according to US Law until you’re over the age of 18, but that doesn’t mean you can’t preach or spread knowledge on your faith. His being 16 and a Minister should not have raised even a single hair on someone’s brow until he began to show that he did not, in fact, know what he was talking about. Some children are far older spiritually than they are physically–old souls, so to speak. We shouldn’t be too hasty to judge. If they prove themselves to be evident of misinformation then we should attempt to set them straight in a guiding and non-patronizing manner.

“I grew up reading Llewellyn books and they never did any harm to me. They helped to educate me on the various topics and traditions and even movements going on in the world around me. Wikipedia is a decent source to go to as well, as it is primarily Pagans and Wiccans who edit the posts there and add to the information. Having practiced for 13 years, I am able to weed out correct and incorrect information without having to do much research, so I don’t usually have to worry about it. However that also places me in a situation where if I do see misinformation on a wiki site, I can correct it. Most of the time I don’t have to correct it as there are thousands of Pagans viewing it regularly who make sure it is up-to-date and as accurate as they can possibly make it. NO source of information is ever a bad source–no matter how reputable a source may be, we should be smart enough to always cross-reference the materials just to make sure that what we are reading is not just a biased viewpoint of one single author. It’s common sense in the world of research.

“As I have so often heard in the Community and from my own High Priestess–we as a community are only as strong as our weakest link. Instead of calling “fluff bunnies” out publicly (who are indeed being looked upon by those who judge us just as equally as we are) why not help to elevate them to a higher level of understanding? We have the power to set things right—why use that same power to beat people down? We are all put here for a reason, even the “fluffy bunnies.”

“As the Dalai Lama once said, ‘There are many paths to walk in the world. Just because someone is walking a different path than yours, does not mean it is the wrong path.’

In love a light. “(Rev. Lowe)

The blog didn’t make me as angry as it did sad. Sad that Pagans are busting the balls of other Pagans and doing the same thing to ourselves that we’ve been doing to Christianity. Why does it have to be “Us vs. Them?” After reading the blog and my response to my High Priestess, she made a post on a public forum (as she does not currently have her own blog to write about these things.) The message read as follows:

“Why is it better to divide the Pagan Community rather than to teach and provide council? It is amazing how many of us there are out there and how few of us really take the time to teach, to reach out and to help others. EVERYONE connected to the craft is here for a reason. ‘Fluff Bunny’ or not. I realize you can’t teach everyone all the time, but why do we feel the need to call people out publicly? Is it to prove how much more advanced we are in the craft? If you have to do this, people, you made a wrong turn somewhere in your spirituality. You make more of an impact with most people when you are less confrontational and more like [a] mentor. Let’s try to avoid the whole us and them thing within our own community. We already fight the us and them thing with other religions, why do this to ourselves? Remember, just because you are more educated in the craft does not mean you cease to be the student, too. Learn humilty. Uplift, don’t tear down. I’m just saying…” (HPs)

I chose to reply back to her post after sharing it with others–as food for thought–and my reply was as thus:

“Why the ‘Us vs. Them’ mentality right within our own religion? Elitist, Common, Fluffy Bunny…who cares? We are all teachers and students, we’re all here for a reason. Uplift, don’t stomp out. Does ‘In perfect love and perfect trust’ not mean anything anymore? Just saying…” (Rev. Lowe)

So, what do you think about all of this? Does “In perfect love and perfect trust” only mean something when you choose for it to, or does it always apply to all practitioners of the Craft? Does it apply anywhere in the world other than directly involving the Craft? It seems to me we’re having another civil war right within our own Faith. If we don’t stand strong together, then we stand divided individually and are that much easier to pick off one by one. We don’t get anything accomplished that way. We serve society and the community much better if we stand together and help to lift one another up rather than beat one another down.

What kinds of things can you do within your own spiritual community to spread a united awareness? To help link the members of your community together toward a common goal?

In love and light,

By Rev. Jonathon S. Lowe; HP
(a.k.a; Sacred Flame)
House of Sacred Mother and Child
The Spirit Mountain Project – cofounder
The Community Grimoire Project – Founder
Midnight Star School of Witchcraft – cofounder/Owner/Instructor

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And Now For Something Completely Different…

May 22, 2012 in Tales from the Silverwolf's Den

Well, I’m not too sure how to go about this whole “introduction” process really without sounding like I’m repeating myself or seemingly making myself sound crazy (which believe me, will eventually happen), so let’s dive in… Shall we?

I’m a young person of big dreams and goals, some of which get lost in my daily routine of juggling too many tasks. But, somehow in the midst of all of this, I found a husband that loves me for all that I am (and yes, this includes the crazy), adopted 6 (yes, 6) animals which consist of 2 dogs and 4 cats, buying a house, becoming more involved with my faith, becoming a High Priestess, starting a local coven, starting a photography business, and just doing about a crap ton of other things that can get to much to list. I can’t explain it really. I’ve always had my hands in about everything I could get to. Though my husband would say that it’s because of the crazy. “You can’t keep it all contained and sit still… That’s just not how crazy works.” <- Yes, that’s my husband for you. Consider me the jack of all trades, master of none. There are few things that I can’t do, and if I don’t know how to do them, there’s a good chance that I haven’t at least tried to learn it or found it on YouTube somewhere (lol).

Well, any who, back to the point of this whole shebang. My obvious goal (besides rationalizing my chaotic behaviors and torturing you) is to try to find a way to incorporate magic into my everyday life, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to reach out to others. Maybe I’ll talk about the husband, or the fur babies, or my coven and what we’re learning, or what I recently have learned, who knows! The world is full of endless possibilities and we cannot even begin to fathom what entertaining things will come to focus when I start pecking away at the keys. I’m always finding random trivia or experiencing the most interestingly epic of days, and as my husband puts it (quite frequently at times) is that there never seems to be a dull moment around me. Most people consider me the comedic relief and find that I’m always there to listen and find a way to make them smile. So, don’t be surprised if most of these come out in a comedic way because that’s how I typically rationalize things.

So, ladies and gentle-hoofs, I leave you with these parting words of wisdom… Wait… Huh, maybe not so much wisdom, but more so of shiggles (do I need to explain that one? lol). My girl friend and I have this weird silly connection when it comes to The Emperor’s New Groove. Let me explain… When one of us starts a line from the movie, we then proceed to spend the next 3-5 minutes quoting random lines from it till we are laughing  our asses off. We can both be pissed off and upset, but when we start this one line… It’s game over and the ‘Van Damme’-esque face quickly fades to the giggly stupidity of laughter and geekiness. Our typical go to line is…”I’ll turn him into a flee….” and if you’ve seen the movie as much as we have (we’re pretty sure we can quote the movie entirely, if not at least 75% of it), you’re probably continuing on with the sentence. It’s OK, I completely understand. Once the train of thought is in motion, you can’t derail it.

The point is, sometimes we all just need to laugh once in a while. Being serious all of the time is mind numbingly boring and depressing. It’s like sitting in high school listening to history teachers (not to offend any teachers out there). So… with that.. Here’s some funny thoughts or questions that I will try to end off with after each blog.  Hope you like it so far and I look forward to seeing you all tomorrow.. You stay Classy there readers ;) .

Lady Noisiu V. Silverwolf

“We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”

PS…. Here’s an additional Foamy video to make you smile. If you like off the wall topics and rants, you will love him and his squirrely goodness. – Enjoy… Spell-A-Casters- Foamy The Squirrel- Ill Will Press

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Simple Signs of the Goddess

August 30, 2011 in Guests

I was born and raised in Southwestern Louisiana, the heart of Cajun Country. There the predominate religion is Christianity, predominately, Catholic. To this day, I can still see the Goddess in the Virgin Mary and honor the Great Mother no matter what form she takes. Also these days, the Goddess is making herself known to me throughout my need to change my dietary relationship with food.

This year I have experienced a few different surgeries in order of achieving a healthy life. However, earlier this year, I was dealt with an unexpected surprise. I was diagnosed with Kidney disease. Not to get too technical with the medical jargon, my body just is not processing proteins the way it should be doing so. Basically the more protein I eat, the faster my kidneys will burn out and eventually may have the need of dialysis, but in no way in need of it at this moment thank Goddess! I have been a “Daughter of Herne” all of my life. I am an advocate of the Wild Hunt. I also love to eat meat! But because I want to live a long healthy life and with my doctor’s suggestion of needing to eliminate the amount of protein I take in my body for nourishment, I now find myself shifting my focus from the hunter to that of the gatherer. I am going back to our Great Mother’s roots, going back to Gaia’s bounty. She provides us with this nourishment of gifts from her womb in the form of fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds.
These past two months with the change in food have also affected my spirituality as well. From what was once predominately male influenced spirituality, my shifts in my personal conscience have been changing as well. I am noticing the Goddess in new ways in totem symbols. The first symbol was a huge black spider. Those that know me, know I am extremely phobic when it comes to spiders! In the past my first instant reaction would be to get a rolled up paper of sorts and smack it. Not this time, instead I carefully gathered the eight legged creature into a glass jar and released it outside in my back yard. Spider is the symbol of balance between the past and the future. Her web is a representation of our life and the choices we make for ourselves.
The second sign of the Goddess came to me during my second week out of the hospital after my second surgery. I was sitting outside on my porch one day reading about Vegetarianism. My doctor just told me that morning I should try to stop eating meat. He suggested that I attempt to become a Vegetarian. So there I was outside trying to enjoy the sunlight and peace and quiet of the afternoon after a rough bought of nausea so hoping the fresh air would do me some good while I was doing research for this new path of eating. While sitting outside a beautiful and huge monarch butterfly fluttered up and perched on the cement right beside me. Why is this so magical you might ask? The area where I reside is heavily populated with hardly any sightings of these magical beings. To see a butterfly in my neighborhood among its congested and heavily populated area is indeed a rare occurrence. For me this was a symbol that I would indeed undergo a dramatic change but that the change would be beautiful and remarkable just as this butterfly.
A week or so later after researching my new method of eating and getting ready for my first “big” grocery shopping trip, I came home with many bags of produce piled high in my car to the brim. While unloading, I noticed something at my front door. It was a spectacular dragon fly. The dragonfly was posted just under our porch’s night light near the front door. She was beautiful. The dragonfly remained there the entire time I unloaded my groceries from my car and into my home. This took several trips and many opening and closings of our front door. I have not seen a dragonfly up close and personal in over a decade. The first time I had ever had a personal experience with one was many years ago on a wild women’s weekend when I was initiated into a Green witchcraft tradition during Lammas many moons ago. So the dragonfly is a special symbol of the Goddess to me as it was one of my totems I began to work with during my earlier days in the craft. This was a symbol for me because of all the changes in my life so quick and drastic that I still need to take a moment and focus on myself. Enjoy not only the beauty all around me, but also appreciate the beauty within myself as well a daughter of the Goddess!
Why are all these things so important to me? Frankly, because since I am changing the way I eat, I am becoming more coherent in what is going on around me. I am not so quick to jump the gun and get upset over things that really should not matter. I am more compassionate about my surroundings. I am eating more things from nature opposed to processed foods from a box. I am eating more natural and less chemicals. What I am putting inside of my body is effecting how I think and live.
I don’t know exactly the connection between food and spirituality for everyone else, but this is a new path I am excited to research and hope blossoms. Now as I learn more about my new path in food, I also learn about new gifts from Gaia’s bounty as well. Each month I am focusing on different fruits and vegetables that I once never knew existed (or were afraid of tasting). Every year during my family’s tradition, we choose two new things each Samhain to learn for the following year. The first thing we choose is a new divination to learn and the second is an Herbal Ally to study with for the course of the next full turn of the wheel. I think I will apply this principle to my personal family’s learning curriculum by adding a new fruit or vegetable each week by introducing something new at the dinner table and learning about it both magically and mundane. We can learn about it while we are consuming Gaia’s gift of nourishment. Eating dinner together as a family is one of the traditions we focus on in our household each and every day. It gives us a specific time of the day where there is no television, no phones, and no electronic interference. It is just family unplugged sharing a meal together as it always will be in our family. It’s our special magical time together.

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Explaining Paganism in a Christian Society

May 26, 2011 in Guests

Stock Photography - acacia tree sunset, serengeti, africa. fotosearch - search stock photos, pictures, wall murals, images, and photo clipart

Has your little lovely ever come home from school and proudly professed to being a christian?

How do you have a conversation about your pagan spirituality without crossing the lines that could lead to social backlash in your child’s future… especially if you live in the Bible Belt?

First of all, be very open with your child.  Have your child explain why he/she feels this way and what has lead to this belief in christianity.  Most of the time a conversation with peers discussing the christian god has lead him/her to believe that this is how everyone feels.  You are suppose to believe in god or face the wraths of hell.

Knowing how your child arrived to this conclusion will help steer your conversation in the direction of your choosing.

If you are not openly calling your family pagans, you might want to think things through before broaching the subject any further.  After you and your significant other have discussed what you would like to share, you can call a family meeting or have a more informal conversation over dinner.

Possible Beliefs to Discuss (if you are hanging out in the broom closet):

  • The goddess you believe in is different than that of some other people.
  • The goddess does not need to be feared.  She is here for guidance and acceptance.
  • The goddess is in all things both living and non-living.  This would be the perfect time to go on a nature walk and discuss the signs of the goddess first hand.
  •  All things are precious and should be taken care of.  This is a great time to share how you take care of nature and the natural world… recycling, gardening, simplifying your lifestyle.
  • The seasons guide us on our spiritual journey.  Give examples:  In the fall, we celebrate the harvesting of crops.  In the spring, we celebrate rebirth and new beginnings.  Have your child come up with new ideas for seasonal celebrations.
  • Our beliefs are shared at special times of year: through our nature table and every day as we honor the earth and all it has given us.
  • You might even want to discuss the concept of the Wiccan Rede: And it harm none do as you will.  Discuss the Rule of Three:  Whatever your give unto this earth comes back to you 3 times in return… be it positive or negative.

*If you feel referring to the goddess directly will have negative implications for your child, consider calling her something more vague such as Mother Earth or Luna.  You could also simple refer to the goddess as god until a time in which your child will understand.  I think the goddess will forgive your lack of formality in order to protect your child from ridicule.

There are many other concepts you can share during this discussion.  Just remember to be open and honest.  Let your child do most of the talking.  By listening, you may learn a bit of something about your kiddo along the way.

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Traditions Series – Part One

May 14, 2011 in Guests

We have two submissions for today’s post. I know that many of you have expressed interest and not to worry we are still accepting new submissions. So when you have them ready send them over to submissions@thepaganhousehold.com

Heathenism

When people hear the word heathen they begin to associate bad things with it almost automatically. Well, I’m here to tell you that not all Heathens are not bad people. Those who practices Asatru are commonly known as Heathens. What’s Asatru? Asatru is a Norse reconstruction religion. Think about the Vikings and their gods. Those who practice Asatru try to follow the paths of our ancestors and honor them in all ways possible. Our Gods – Odin, Freyja, Thor, etc – they’re our ancestors too. So when we worship them, we’re worshiping our ancestors as well. So next time someone says their Heathen, don’t be so quick to judge. We’re actually good people, open minded, and very family oriented.

This was submitted by Freckles and you check her out at her blog. And if you are interested in more information on Heathenism be sure to check out http://heathengods.com/

Experiencing the Sacred

What do I as a Pagan believe? I don’t mean to evade the question but my spiritual path isn’t so much about believing as it is about experiencing and doing. How I experience the Sacred and what do I do as a result.

I experience the Sacred through the cycle of the seasons. I meet with the Gods while walking in the green spaces, while working in my garden and in ritual circle both alone, with my wife and with my covenmates. As a result, I recycle, do acts of kindness and work magick.

Deeds not creeds. This I believe. This I do.

This submission is from Dancing Rabbit.

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Family and Ancestor Altar

April 18, 2011 in Family Crafting

We have talked about many things in this column up to this point. About building traditions, about worshiping and praying together. But family needs a place to gather together. I know that many of you are thinking that is what the Home is for, and you would be right. But inside the Home a Strong and Spiritual family needs a gathering place for their spiritual purposes. And as you saw last Monday, with Janet’s altar post, one of the things that you can use for this purpose is the Family Altar. A small table that acts as the central location of spirituality in your house. The only thing to remember about the Family Altar is that there are no rules for how one of these should be built or look. They should each be as unique as the family is. But here are some suggestions to start with:

  • The family Deities should be represented. If you haven’t found who those are then you can just have representations of the Goddess and God on there instead. Look at the end of this chapter on a meditation and tips to help you with this.
  • There can also be a representation of the One. The principle that the Goddess and God are the two parts of. If this is not part of your mythos, then of course you can exclude this.
  • A spot for the Ancestors and Elders should be reserved as well. You can mark this with a candle or a small lamp and an offering plate. You can also include pictures of some of those that have passed on. Or you can spin this out into an altar only for the Ancestors, see below.
  • The family should have something to represent it. In our house we use an oil lamp and light it on Sabbats and in times of sickness, stress and happiness. This is from our family coven being part of FWTI. Now I know that these are an odd combination of events but these are the exact times that we need to be reminded of our connectedness. And in all three cases one can forget that others can share in the burden or want to share in the joy. Now if the idea of an oil lamp makes you cringe, you could also use a symbol that everyone can touch as they pass by to remind them of the fact that they are connected to the rest of the family.
  • You may also want to have representations of the four elements as well. Whether you use colored candles or actual physical symbols of them.
  • Another suggestion is the Family Book of Shadows. Which should be a compilation of rituals and traditions of the family. Look at the second half of this book on crafting a Family Book of Shadows.
  • You can also put photos of each member of the family and photos of different rituals and trips that the family has taken.
  • You can also decorate the altar with symbols of each of the seasons and/or Sabbats.

Placement and Tips

Now as you go ahead with the building of your family altar. Just keep a few things in mind;

  • Put it where the most traffic is. It does no good if the family is not reminded of it.
  • Use it. Build your rituals around it. Pray at it. The more that you do these things, the more “spiritually charged” the Family Altar will become.
  • I have always found that simpler is better. The more on it, the easier it is to knock something over and the less “working” room there is.
  • Do not worry about getting it “wrong”. If it “feels” right then it is “right”.

Ancestor Altar

Now that you have created an altar to honor the family and for that family to share, you may also want to create a place to honor the Ancestors. My wife did this for our family, she created what we are calling the Ancestor wall. This basically is a place to pay respect and leave offerings for those that have passed on.

Starting your own Ancestor wall is a worthwhile and easy project for you to do. I recommend starting with a family tree and trying to compile photos along the way. But there are other things you can do as well to make your Ancestor altar as unique as your family.

  • Go to the living. Talk to your existing family and gather as much information as you can on as much family as they can remember. See it was important to talk to your parents and the rest of your extended family.
  • Remember that stories are important, you may even want to compile those stories. Either in written form or in video or audio form.
  • Then move on to the physical records. Starting with family bibles, diaries, letters, photograph albums.
  • And finally up to non-federal records. By this I mean, local sources like courthouses. For birth and death certificates. Along with marriage documents or deeds.

Where do I go from here?

Now that you have started on this project and have something that you can put up, what do you do next? There are many ways to go. Like we plan to do in the Spring, you could hang up a special shelf for your Ancestors and put up pictures and the family tree. Then regularly clean that area and leave offerings and light candles to honor them. Or you could put that material on your normal family altar and always be reminded of them. The list goes on and on about the way you could honor your Ancestors in this way. Each way is unique to the family being honored.

Yet the more you work on bringing them into your home and into your rituals the more helpful your Ancestors can be. From lending energy for magick to giving you warnings in your dreams of things to come.

And by all means share some of your altars so we can showcase them on our biweekly altar column. Send an email with pictures and descriptions to submissions@thepaganhousehold.com

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Reconciling Faiths

March 3, 2011 in Guests

courtesy of freedigitalphotos.com

I am Pagan; my husband is not. It hasn’t always been this way. I was raised Roman Catholic, my mother dragging my brother and I to church every Sunday. It was boring and painful; I hated it. Once I was Confirmed (and therefore considered an adult in the eyes of the Church), I quit going. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I never had a need to go back until I got married. Luckily we found a priest who didn’t mind that only I was Catholic and never went to Mass, so I had the traditional church wedding that I had always wanted.

In those early years it didn’t matter much to me that I was Catholic and my husband was not. He identifies as Christian, but was never baptized or went to church. Everything he knows about his religion came from his father, who (unfortunately) believes that the Bible is the exact and true word of God and never deviates from it. We argued about him not being baptized – I was worried I wouldn’t see him in heaven; he made rude comments about my faith and I worried it would be difficult raising our kids Catholic with all his jokes and jabs about my beliefs. Eventually, the argument died down. I had our kids baptized, sent them to religion, and he just went along with it.

That was until about three years ago. I discovered Paganism. Sure, I’d heard of it and Wicca before, but this time I was interested and the more I read, the more it felt like I had come home to a true spiritual path that I hadn’t known I was seeking. I hid it from my husband at first; I was sure he’d think I were crazy and worshipping Satan. I slowly left the newly purchased books about Wicca and witchcraft out where he could see them, made a special place on the bookshelf for my sacred tools. I don’t really recall when or how I finally told him, but I do remember the fights. He tried to make me see it was bad and scary, while I tried to make him understand that this was who I was now. He didn’t want to see or have anything to do with Paganism or Wicca in his house; he also refused to let me explain to him what it was about so that maybe he could understand without fear.

There was one particular night after we’d been arguing about it when I sat wondering if I could really continue to be married to him because of this, and what was more important – my husband, or my faith? Time passed and just like years before, the argument faded away. He learned that this was not just a fad and that I was serious. I agreed to continue our children’s Catholic education until they had made their First Communion because I felt it was important to have a basic understanding of a traditional (and yes, more socially accepted) faith and he agreed that I would share my new beliefs with them as well.

We’ve come a long way, looking back. I now have an entire room devoted to my faith and the Craft rather than just a shelf; he even helped me refinish the second hand tables I bought to use as altars. He gets in his little pokes here and there, but I know they’re in fun. He even had Samhain dinner with my Circle this year. He doesn’t argue when I teach things to the kids he doesn’t agree and when they ask me if they are Pagan or Christian, I tell them both. Sometimes my younger daughter will make negative comments about Christianity and I remind her that she needs to be respectful of others’ beliefs even if they are not her own. Eventually, when they are old enough, I’d like my girls to choose their own path based on what feels right to them. Yes, I’d like them to choose the Goddess, but  until then, all I can do is hold their hands and guide them the short while they walk along mine.

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